Bringing Back The Break, My Way

Leave a comment

 

This is an entry to the Yummy Mummy Club contest they held recently. Obviously, I lost. I wanted to share with you what I do to give myself a break. J

We are in the kitchen of one my mommy friends. I just took a bite of a canapé she ‘just whipped up.’ My mouth waters at the just-enough melted cheese on top. I spy lunch fixings near her stove. My inner-mind shakes at the amazing feast she has planned. She has a part-time job and cooks. I am amazed that we are friends.

Full confession: I am not a cook, nor a baker. I flunked Home Economics twice. The teacher took pity on me and gave me a pass finally. I grew up with TV dinners and packaged foods. I think I turned out okay.

When I became a mom twice over, I was scared. Visions of what Supermom means gripped my panic full blown. I tried to bake and cook every day. After many failed attempts, I am still getting the smoke stains out of the ceiling. What worried me most was that if I was spending so much time in the kitchen, I was not playing with my young children. Time is going too fast.

That realization hurt my mama heart. I let go of Supermom ideal that I thought I could be. I am me. I am their mom, flaws and all. So, I began to think of what I could do to provide meals for my family and still play with my kids. Below are my now-not-secrets on how I do it.

1. I began to resort to making big batches of my limited recipes and freezing extras for a later date. For example:  I would take a veggie chili from the freezer to put it on top of a pan of tortilla chips, spread grated cheese and viola, chili nachos.

2. We have themed food days. Macaroni Mondays. Waffle Weekends. French Fry Fridays. Our kids know they can have their favorite foods this time of the week.

3. When time is super-crunched or sicknesses have run through the house, I utilize a local speciality food store called M&M Meat shop. They have an extensive menu. You can order online and pick it up at the closest location. Quick and fresh appies, main entrees to desserts makes it worth the reasonable price. You can freeze what you do not need right away.

4. Every Friday we have pizza and a movie at dinner time. If we do not have a pizza ready to be made at home, we do order out. At the end-of-the-week, I am done.

5. I am not June Cleaver, and nor Kathy Buckworth. However, I shade on the side of Peggy Bundy and purchase fruit bowls and veggie plates at the grocery store to balance my family’s nutrition.

I do not use a microwave and I do not know how to bake or cook from scratch easily.  I love spending as much time as possible with my children.

We continue to enjoy the feast our friend has made. She is a natural in the kitchen.  I am not despairing that I cannot reciprocate the delectable lunch. I know it is not in my genes to be Supermom (whatever that is.) It is my mantra that we all deserve a break. We need to let go of what we think we “should” do and live in the moment.

 

 

I Had To Stop Comparing My Kids

1 Comment

As posted on The Yummy Mummy YMC

Watching my two daughters playing on the playground, it strikes me how different they are. In the early days of my youngest, I would compare her to her older sister. When she wouldn’t hit the milestones like her sister, I worried. I thought there was something wrong.

My oldest daughter didn’t crawl. At one year old, she began running and talking in sentences. Today she acts years older than her five years of age. My youngest crawled at thirteen months and walked at fifteen months. My youngest at almost three years old doesn’t speak much. And when she does speak, it is baby babble. She is like a child of the age of 18 months.

I see my oldest racing around with other kids at the park, squealing with delight. I look over to spy my youngest playing by herself in the sand. She is happy as well doing her own thing. I need to remember this moment.

As we go through the painfully slow process to see if our youngest may be autistic or if she is just globally delayed, I feel that I can’t complain. I have two beautiful daughters. It began to feel like by comparing them, I was judging them. They are precious in their own unique ways. Taking a side-step and just enjoying my girls is freeing.

I ask them both if they are hungry. They race to me. As I dish out the goldfish crackers, I look at them standing side-by-side. I embrace their uniqueness. They’re amazing in their own path.

A Mom’s #GNO

1 Comment

20111002-195324.jpg

Last week I had the opportunity to
travel into Vancouver for the evening. I was on my way to bottle wine and hang
out with fabulous women. I had no issues saying good-bye to my family, cranking
up MY tunes in the car and heading out. Despite the long commute, I didn’t care.

As soon as arrived I met Cherie-Lyn
Buchanan, whom I had connected with online in many areas. I felt bad I didn’t recognize
her right away. After all, seeing a one-inch picture does not do justice. Right
away I was enveloped in a hug. Then our hostess, Lisa Thornbury, delivered
another hug and we were off and running in the bottling process.

We were encouraged to try each step
in the wine making right through to the testing (my favorite.) there were
wonderful snacks to keep us balanced between sampling the very juicy wines.

The night was wonderful but fast.
As I drove home with the bottles snug in the trunk, I realized why it was fast.
I had fun. I laughed. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole night. The wonderful CL
Buchanan had taken a gorgeous picture of me.

Moms need to get out once and
awhile to recharge. We should write a weekly prescription. I have mine waiting
to crack open. Cheers!

Thank you www.windemadesimple.com www.vancouverwinemaking.com www.yummymummyclub.ca
and all who made a wonderful night loads of fun!

20111002-195252.jpg

I am the voter

3 Comments

As a tweetaholic I have seen the buzz surrounding #momthevote. I can appreciate the need to get moms to the polls. We need to vote for what is best for our families. It was not the same for our parents. Many households now have both parents working just to survive. Costs have sky rocketed. At least 30% of the families I polled have a RESPs but not RRSPs.

The government absolves the pay raises they give themselves by throwing drabs of money to families in under the cover of The Child Care Credit. $100 per child per month does not help even cover daycare. It stops when they are of school age (six years old.) So the message they send us that kids are cheaper and easier when they start school? Really? Right.

One issue that is propelling my vote is not one that is mom related at all but as a registered Canadian voter. This year I had the misfortune to watch my sister go through multiple surgeries to fight cancer; I saw the burden of her income falling to 55% of her salary. After only 16 weeks of fighting to get healthy her benefits ran out. She will be going back to work before getting a clean bill of health. An average Stage1 or 2 of cancer takes at least 10-12 months to heal. . It breaks my heart to see her go back to soon and it should a politician’s. If a candidate is making a promise to help the failing health care system in BC and in Canada, I would pay attention. There should be an allowance for doctors to extend patients leave if needed without forcing them to go back to work too soon.

For everyone running in this election please take away this: walk your neighborhood to find out what is important to voters. If you make a promise-keep it!!!

I really wish there was a performance review for candidates who get elected. If you fail you get a warning or fired by the public. If you are elected it should be in a written contract with repercussions should you fail.

I have taken my young girls to vote. My oldest knows why it is vital for her future that I vote. She makes a ballot at home and practices when she can at the age of majority.

Wordless Wednesday:meeting a favorite author

Leave a comment

On a rare night out, I got to see Jodi Picoult in Vancouver.

One of my happy places

1 Comment

In two days I will be participating in one of my favorite things to do. Book Club. It is the best kind because I will be at home, in front of the computer and tweeting with my fellow book lovers. At the helm will be Wanda (aka @YMCBookalicious).

There is no need for a babysitter or for myself to drive at night. Hubby will be down in the playroom with the kids while I cozy up to the keyboard with a glass of Chardonnay.

It never matters the book, the picks are always good. It is a bi-monthly treat for me to talk online with people I may never have met. As a work-at-home mom my outside contacts are at the playground or school drop-off. Adult conversation face to face is a rarity. It just is that way right now.

For about an hour, we converse with specifics about the read and get off topic occasionally. Before I know it, it is time for me to get the kids to bed. It always goes to fast.

We all need to take time in a happy place. I have felt better in carving a wee bit of space for me. It is always written on the calendar in pen. There is no excuse to miss it since I don’t need to leave home.

Have you carved out time for yourself? What is your happy place?

Happy Blogaversary to me…

1 Comment

Where has the time gone? I began this blog after a few months taking an online class with The Momoir Project back on January 4th,2010.  I used pieces that I worked on in class and I was off. I was impressed with myself that I could even start an essay. I was shy to start as an adult after an English Teacher put a negative cloud on my writing. There is where my writing and grammar lessons stopped. It is a flaw that you will see today and I don’t care.

Writing all year has saved me from the isolating world of being a stay-at-home mom. The motivation fueled by the fear that I will not be here to tell my daughters stories like my mom is not here. Being a motherless mother used to be my private shame. I saw everyone around me enjoy their moms gushing over their grandchildren. So I dared to write and hit publish. The overwhelming response came through the comments was the hug and validation I craved.

A blog is many things to many people: a journal, a rant or a portfolio for a future career. Mine became all of the above. I wrote from the heart which led to writing jobs with The Momoir Project, Women’s Post, Oh Baby Magazine, Wonder Moms and guest blogged on The Yummy Mummy Club. When I ranted about how unfair that my sister’s cancer has returned, people responded. I adore this blog. It is an unconditional friend that I typed as if no one was reading. Now I have many readers that I never would have met if not for my beginning. Now, I read their blogs of tribulations and triumphs.

A special place in my writing has been passionately derived from Twitter. The relationships that I have made through the social media ‘water cooler’ have been amazing. Yes there have been the negative people. The positive has shined so bright. Quite a few of those relationships have spilled into real life. I could not be happier.

I still fear for turning the age my mom was when she died. By allowing myself free to say it out loud has freed me to live in the moment now.

Thank you for the laughs, the cries and the good times. I raise my glass to you in thanks.

Cheers to all of you.

I can’t wait to see what is to come.

 Yes, there could be more grammar mistakes. One of my goals is to work on that this year.

Thanksgiving and my Birthday

6 Comments

What I am most thankful for:

1. My healthy household who surprises me everyday.

2. My sister who faces each medical test with courage.

3. My online friends through The Momoir Project, The Yummy Mummy club, Twitter, Facebook and blogs.

4. Reaching my 37th birthday since my mom only got 38.

5. Going a whole day on my birthday not changing a diaper.

Happy Thanksgiving.

My Breast Feeding Struggle Posted

Leave a comment

http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/when_breastfeeding_does_not_work_danielle_christopher

When Momoir Mummy Meets Yummy

Leave a comment

I hear the buzz of conversations from the tables around us in the restaurants. The lights are dim and the room is candlelit. The clink of the silverware peppers through the air. I make mental notes trying to remember every detail.

My eyes gaze upon my company at the table. Several moms have broken off into one on one conversations. I turn my head to the lady on my left who is talking to the lady on her left. The magic of the evening relaxes me. I am in a grownup restaurant, not a high chair in sight. I can’t stop smiling.

My closest dinner companion turns to me to pose for the camera aimed at us. My mellow states makes me forget who our famous diner is.

Erica Ehm, former Much Music host and CEO of The Yummy Mummy Club is in Vancouver promoting her childrens book The Mischievious mom at the Art Gallery. We , along with seven other moms, are dining at the Sandbar on Granville Island.

Erica and Cori of The Momior Project were the first to publish my articles. They both gave me the confidence as a writer. I love the encouragement that writing about being a mom has given me. There is no competition. We all have a story to share.

As we get to know Erica, she also asks for everyone’s story. The attention each one gets from the table bonds us together in motherhood. We talk about our kids, kids allergies, how we met our husbands and fellow mom writers who are not present tonight.

Not one of us talks about guilt about being away from our kids. We are all relaxed and happy.

The waitress comes around asking if we wish dessert. Everyone orders something. Clearly we are all not ready to leave. It is late on a ‘school night’ and that is okay. This evening at first, is about meeting Erica and other moms whom I met in virtual world. It is turning into reminders that we all need to get together more often.

We eventually say our good byes. There are promises to keep in touch and meeting again. I know we will. Writing gives me an entry into this amazing support in motherhood. I can’t wait to see where we go next.

Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.