Things people say in the face of Autism

April 13, 2012

@just_d_world Autism, birth moments, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , 2 Comments

My shock prevents me to answer the remark a complete stranger just said to me. I am waiting to pick up my oldest from kindergarten. At my feet is my three-year-old daughter who is laughing at a kid next to her. On the outside she looks like a regular kid. On the inside she is different, autistic. The stranger had watched her and walked over to me to say. “Everything happens for a reason.” And sauntered off to get her kid.

I know I should have thicker skin when it comes to remarks like that. I know I should let it roll off my back. I know I shall expect it again. It makes my brain go into what people should say. They are:

5 things Not to Say to an Autism Parent

  1. Everything happens for a reason.
  2. At least the child is healthy.
  3. That must be tough.
  4. Can’t you control your kid? ( or the nasty glances.)
  5. I don’t know how you do it.
  6. This kid is born to you because you are strong and can handle it all.

5 things to say to an Autism Parent

  1. How are you?
  2. Can I babysit sometime?
  3. Your kid is wonderful/smart/delightful.
  4. The world is a better place with your kid in it.
  5. _______________________________________

I wish to put this on a laminated card to hand out when people approach me like that lady. The bell rings and I put a smile on my face to greet my kindergartener. As we race to the playground for some fun, I wonder what the fifth thing that should be on that list.

What would you say to a parent with a child on the spectrum that is positive?

Every Day is Autism Day

April 9, 2012

@just_d_world Autism, birth moments, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama, stay-at-home moms , Leave a comment

 

World Autism Awareness Day was last week.  I understand the need to bring awareness to Autism. More and more kids are being diagnosed at a fast pace. As a mom of a three-year-old diagnosed on the spectrum, I wonder when it will ever be Autism Acceptance Day. Even at her tender age my daughter has encountered a lot of ignorance.

So let me talk to you about my daughter:

  1. She loves Doritos. We do use chips as incentive to get her to complete tasks, like puzzles.
  2. She is very compassionate to animals. Some autism ‘experts’ say that is not possible.
  3. My daughter comprehends a vast amount that is communicated to her.
  4. She only has 5 speaking words that you can understand. Hugs are plentiful in our house.
  5. My life would not be the same without her. She reminds us how simple things can bring such joy.

By talking and sharing it can be realized that autism is not a big deal. It does require a lot of therapy to help kids with daily tasks that most learn on their own.

What else would you like to know about autism and/or our life involving autism?

 

Wordless Wednesday: Sisters rule!

April 4, 2012

@just_d_world Autism, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , Leave a comment

My youngest daughter this morning grabbed her sister’s hand and ran. Considering she has just begun her autism therapy journey, this melted my heart.

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Money with Leo: Helping Kids Learn $$.

March 30, 2012

@just_d_world Giving Back, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , , , 6 Comments

 

Teaching kids about money can never start too young. It is an important lesson that will last a lifetime. It got to me when my oldest was four years old and she presumed we could buy anything with our debit card. When she turned five we let her save up cold hard cash to spend on what she wanted. It was when she saw it with her own eyes, the money being handed over, she understood the value. The next time she wanted something she chose a cheaper item and loved storing the change in her piggy bank.

I am excited to tell you about a new app called Learning Money with Leo, brought to you by RBC Royal Bank. The app features a variety of kid-friendly and interactive games to teach your pre-school to kindergarten aged children everything from earning, to saving, to spending money. The application is free from iTunes in English and French! To find out more tips on teaching your kids about money check out: http://www.rbcadvicecentre.com.

My only drawback in my experience with the app is that I have a first generation 16mb ipad. I had to make updates to the ipad before being able to download it. Because my ipad is Wi-Fi only I was unable to use it on the road. It would be wonderful if RBC made this app available for smartphones. What a great experience to teach your kids while you are grocery shopping with Money with Leo right on your phone.

Having said that, the lessons in the games are valuable for kids. Gather the Coins and Spot the Differences were just two of my five-year-old daughter’s favorite games. For my three-year-old daughter I downloaded the printable version of the games:  http://www.rbcroyalbank.com/learning-money-with-leo/.  She loved being able to color Leo and the piggy banks. She might not be able to grasp the lessons at her tender age just yet, but by keeping it as a family lesson , she will learn  it.

GIVEAWAY: Feel free to leave a comment about why you feel it’s important to teach your kids how to understand and responsibly use money for a chance to win a RBC Visa Gift Card values at $50! Leave a comment by April 20, 2012 for your chance to win.

Disclosure: I am participating in the RBC Learning Money with Leo Program by Mom Central Canada on behalf of RBC Royal Bank. I received compensation as a thank you for participating and for sharing my honest opinion. The opinions on this blog are my own.

 

I Am Older than My Mother

March 28, 2012

@just_d_world Loss Of My Mom, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama 4 Comments

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After washing the breakfast dishes and loading them into the dishwasher, I feel a sense of dread. I am spooked, and I know why. Without looking at the calendar or knowing what day it is, I just know. It is March 28th and I am now older than my mom was before she passed away from breast cancer at 38 years old. I still do not know exactly how I feel.

Ever since she died, I feared turning 38. I long to celebrate my 39th birthday. I am probably the rare woman who can’t wait to see forty, because my mom did not. When I turned 28 I began the mammograms and ultrasounds and blood work to keep a check on my health. As of right now, I am the only woman in my immediate family that has avoided cancer.

That C-word has taken everyone I have ever loved in my family and has threatened my younger sister three times. It is an evil and awful disease. I try to keep eating right but struggle with hat. I lost my svelte figure when my youngest daughter stopped liking the stroller. I gave up on me constantly. Until this moment.

While I will not be vigilant and absorb every health plan, I will look for balance. Life is too short. For my heart is telling me I need to work more on my goals, my dreams. It will honor my mother and leave a legacy for my children.

Many motherless daughters swing through emotions of living longer than their mothers: guilt of living longer to a sense of relief that they ‘made it.’ I do feel the power to make my life right like she was not given the time to do.

I walk into the hallway where my mom’s smiling face is looking at me from the picture frame. I whisper to her that I understand so much more now. I will make her proud, so when we meet again she can tell me how proud she is of me. All of a sudden I feel ten years old again and was just told she died. It is 28 years later, and the hole in my heart when she left is still there. I will continue to treat her granddaughters like she treated me. I will work on a ‘bucket list.’ I never knew her list.

I quickly turn my tears into a sniffle when my daughters come running up to me. I will still fear that one day I might be taken from them too soon. But then again, anyone who has lost a parent no matter the age will say it was too soon.

I love you Mommy, more than a million oceans.

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#50BookPledge Weekend and Spring Break Reads

March 23, 2012

@just_d_world Book reviews, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , , Leave a comment

Daughters in Law

By Joanna Trollope

Anthony Brinkley and his wife, Rachel, have brought up their three sons in Suffolk. The novel tells of various minor crises in each of these marriages. Its most interesting plot is that of Rachel’s struggle to cope when her sons move away, which leads her to alienate everyone – even gentle Anthony. When confronted with an empty nest, it is easier to engage with the fragility of bird bones than human emotions.

Daughters-in-Law is most successful in its set-pieces. The vicar’s sermon at Luke’s wedding to Charlotte at the beginning of the book is perfectly judged, as is Ralph’s resignation from his merchant bank in Singapore. At these moments, Trollope uses her keen sense of melding plots with poetic backdrops.

 

The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

Writing, for Julia Cameron, is neither solely vocation nor avocation: it is a way of life. It comes first thing in the morning, while the horses are waiting to be fed; it happens at the kitchen counter, while the onions are sautéing and many more places. The more than 40 brief personal essays that make up the book are an unyielding affirmation of the writing life and a reality of all that gets in the way: busy schedules, procrastination, insecurity, lack of writing space, a day job–you get the point. Cameron’s common sense advice is liberating to anyone who has felt hampered by making a big deal out of writing. My favorite piece of advice: Steal time!

 

Hand Me Down by Melanie Thorne

Never has a book hit home of my own teenage life. This story follows fourteen-year-old Elizabeth Reid who has spent her life protecting her sister, Jaime, from their parent’s destructive choices. Jaime lives with their dad and Liz with their mother and stepfather who happens to be an ex-con.

Because of her mother’s husband’s parole conditions Liz is forced to bed hop between two states in search of a stable home. All the while trying to protect her sister from the alcoholic abusive father.

Through fear and shame she stays up at night dreaming of breaking free.

On sale April 12,2012.

 

18/50!!!!

Diving into Ice Princess by Camilla Lackberg. Can’t wait!!!

Post-Natal Purses: Size Matters

March 19, 2012

@just_d_world Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama Leave a comment

 

As you prep for when baby arrives the one tool you need to leave the house with (after the car seat) is the diaper bag. When looking at the suggested checklist it seems that a new mom needs a large suitcase with heels just to leave the house. Your back groans at the thought of it.

When your baby arrives what you actually need varies to kid to kid. I went through several bags as often my kids outgrew their clothes. What I narrowed down to what to compile into one bag for us three: one errand, play dates or appointments that took all day. My biggest tip is that to put your wallet and essentials in a small clutch inside the diaper bag. It helps for when you need to find your wallet or lip balm. You will always pack too much or too little.

As your kids grow, they will have their own backpacks or bags for their own stuff. You will reclaim your purse once again. Your back will straighten while your heart is whimsical on how fast your kids are growing.

Size matters when it comes to packing what you may or actually need for your time outside the house. It also helps when you come to the rescue of a cranky toddler when you find goldfish in the black hole of your purse.

Just never forget your essentials. After all a happy mom is a happy life. :)

 

#50BookPledge Weekend Reads

March 16, 2012

@just_d_world Book reviews, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , , Leave a comment

An Exclusive Love

A Memoir

By Johanna Adorjan

This is not a sugary romance novel.  It’s a memoir by the granddaughter of a couple who committed suicide together when the husband fell fatally ill. The couple married just before WWII and were Jewish. She, writer/granddaughter, tells their story through interviews with people who knew them and her memories of them. She pens trying to imagine what their last day was like. She tries to understand why they killed themselves, particularly Vera who was very healthy.
Love has so many meanings in this book.
It is a very sad yet thoughtfully deep book.

C’mon Papa

By Ryan Knighton
C’mon Papa is Ryan Knighton’s heartbreaking and hilarious voyage through the first year of fatherhood. Becoming a father is a stressful, daunting rite of passage to be sure, but for a blind father, the fears are unimaginably heightened. Ryan will have to find novel ways to adapt to nearly every aspect of parenting.
This is no pity party, and Ryan has no time for sentimentality. Tackling these hurdles with grace and humour, Ryan is determined to do his par.  In his struggle to “see” Tess, Ryan reimagines the relationship between father and child during that first chaotic year.

Wordless Wednesday March Break.

March 14, 2012

@just_d_world Marriage, Mommy minute, Motherless Mama Leave a comment

Making storybooks on a windy Spring Break.

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I Heart Indigo Kids

March 12, 2012

@just_d_world Mom Central, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama , 14 Comments

When I moved to Langley at eight months pregnant I discovered I loved the town right away. There were many selling features, and as a book lover I was in heaven. Located four blocks from our new home sat a Chapters Indigo store.

When I had my baby I walked with her for many years to the store. She would nap while I shopped and sipped a Starbucks, which was conveniently located in the same building. When her sister was born I loaded up the stroller to the store. My oldest enjoyed the kids area while her baby sister napped, and I sipped a desperately needed coffee.

When our local chapters went under a significant renovation I was thrilled. They expanded the kids section to what is called now Indigo Kids. There were many play stations that the kids could enjoy while their parents shopped or sat still for a moment.

As a busy parent I was over the moon for what Indigo Kids offered.  Not only did they break down recommendations for birthday gifts by age, they offered FREE gift wrapping! This relieved me as I am a dunce at wrapping.

Being a Mom Central Canadian mom, I was given the opportunity to experience the Indigo Kids program. I took my five-year-old daughter on a mom/daughter date to find a gift for her friend who is also turning five. I had no clue as to what to get a five-year-old boy so I eagerly took advantage of the help.

Within minutes the lovely clerk had confirmed that the Lego we selected would be perfect. A bonus was that it was on sale!! So, that meant we could pick a book to go with the book. I personally have the irewards card so there will even be extra discounts. Chapters Indigo does offer a free program called Plum Points. You can get points on most products to add up to money off your next purchase.

My daughter and I still had lots to look at and play with when the clerk found me to give me that gift. I will use this service again. It is very convenient.

Are you near a Chapters/Indigo location? Most locations have the Indigo Kids service now.  Check http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/toystore to find one near you. Thanks to Indigo and Mom Central I am offering a giveaway of a $35 Indigo Gift Card so you can also have an opportunity to experience purchasing a gift at Indigo Kids. Leave a comment on why you love Indigo Kids or how you might spend the gift card if you win. Contest is open from now until April 30, 2012!! Don’t live near or store or prefer to shop in your pjs? No problem! Check out www.chapters.indigo.ca to shop Indigo Kids from home. For only $4.95 they will gift wrap your selection too.

Disclosure-I am participating in the Indigo Kids program by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation for my participation in this campaign. The opinions on this blog are my own.

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