Unplugging for a little jumping.
Summer came early.
Wordless Wednesday: Early Summer
May 30, 2012
moms, Mommy minute, Motherless Mama autism, summer 1 Comment
Why I Write/Blog
May 22, 2012
Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama Leave a comment
I am staring at the blank computer screen, having writer’s block. After three years of actively blogging I am stuck for a topic, even though my life is expansive on writing material. From my desk I can hear the birds chirping, the slight spring breeze wafts through my open window. My family is out for a quick journey. I have the time I crave to finally write. And I am stuck.
I think back to when I first started to write. My oldest was just a baby when I realized that I was approaching the age that my mother died. Not knowing her stories in her own words motivated me scribe mine, in case I had the same fate or if I forgot things. As the years pass fast being a mom there are minute details that have escaped me.
Writing also was a way to vent my isolation on being motherless, not having family to help the day-to-day and when my youngest was diagnosed with autism. Writing my blog began to bridge the gap that I felt. A void was there that slowly dissipated, especially when readers began to comment.
With a smile, I begin to type. I never profess to writing well or being a literary author. I write for my girls, other moms and most importantly for me. No one can tell my stories but me.
#50 Book Pledge List
May 15, 2012
Book reviews, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama, My Women's Post Book Reviews #50BookPledge, #seenreading, Harper Collins Canada Leave a comment
Thanks Harper Collins Canada for the challenge.
Books I have read this year so far (in no particular rating order)
1. Chicken Soup for the soul: Children with Special Needs: Co-creator team: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Heather McNamara, and Karen Simmons.
2. Selected: Why Some People Lead, Why Others Fail and Why It Matters By Mark Van Vugt and Anjana Ahuja
3. MWF seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche
4. Everyday Food Light: From the Kitchens of Martha Stewart Living
5. If I Tell By Janet Gurtler
6. Your Voice in my Head by Emma Forrest
7. The Possibility of Everything by Hope Edelman
8. Christmas at Tiffany’s by Karen Swan
9. Your Twitter Diet: How I Used Twitter to lose 20 pounds & you can too. By Rebecca Regnier
10. I’ve Got Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
11. An Exclusive Love: A Memoir by Johanna Adorjan
12. C’mon Papa by Ryan Knighton
13. Daughters in Law by Joanna Trollope
14. The Right to Write by Julia Cameron
15. Hand Me Down by Melanie Thorne
16. The Ice Princess by Camille Lackberg
17. The Descendants by Kaui Hart Hemmings
18. Autism: from the Chinese Traditional Medicine Perspective by Anthony Young
19. Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult
20. The Taming by Teresa Toten and Eric Walters
21. Life Is but a Dream by Brian James
22. The Night She disappeared by April Henry
23. This is not a Test by Courtney Summers
24. The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
25. How Not to Move Back in with your Parents by Robert Carrick
26. The Out-Of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A.
27. Absolution by Patrick Flanery
28. The Wild Beast of Wuhan by Ian Hamilton
29. The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party by Alexander McCall Smith
30. Sisters of Glass by Stephanie Hemphill
31. Carly’s voice by Arthur Fleishman and Carly Fleishman
32. The Golden Hat
33. Betrayal by Danielle steel
34. Calico Joe by John Grisham
35. Among Others by Jo Walton
36. Thieves of Bay Street by Bruce Livesey
37. Trail of the Spellman by Lisa Lutz
38. Kaleidoscope by Gail Bowen
39. Web of Angels by Lillian Nattel
40. Both of Us: My Life with Farrah by Ryan O’Neil
41. Pulse by Julian Barnes
42. Girl Meets boy edited by Kelly Milner Halls
43. The Red House by Mark Haddon
44. Knocked Up by Rebecca Eckler
45. I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron
46. Let’s Pretend this Never Happened by Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess)
Motherless: 5 things to honor your mom
May 7, 2012
cancer sucks, Loss Of My Mom, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama motherless, motherless daughter, motherless mom Leave a comment
I am walking through the mall with my daughters and see Mother’s Day signage. What should be a happy sight, I feel mixed emotions. Ever since my mom died I have hated Mother’s Day. I’ve tried to make it passable by honoring my grandmothers, but it wasn’t the same. Now as a mom, I feel I need to participate in the Hallmark holiday.
She is never far from my thoughts. I have been alive longer than her. What started to make the day fun for me was when I began things to honor my mom every day like:
- I break out pictures of my childhood and share stories with my daughters. By talking about the good times it reminds me I did have a childhood.
- She loved purses. I have some of hers and have added a lot more since. When I get nostalgic I look at my purses and remember playing dress up with them. Sometimes I will go window shop the purse section of department stores. It may seem silly, but it is calming to me.
- I watch her favorite movies or television shows. I remember watching The Young and the Restless when I was home from school. The house stopped for that one hour. Watching it today makes me feel close to her.
- I give myself permission to grieve. The loss of her will always be here. It comes in fast and furious. A trigger can be small or big depending on the day. When I embrace the pain I get through it.
- I work on living each day as it might be the last. I often forget to make each day count. The beauty is when I wake up the next day it is a fresh start.
I may be a grown woman but I will always wonder, what if she didn’t have cancer? What if she survived? What if I had a regular childhood that didn’t involve hospitals and wheelchairs?
Looking at my daughters enjoying a mall treat, I know I can drive myself mad wondering the what if’s. I might live till tomorrow, or not. What matters is honoring my mom while living my life. Being the mom she was is a great gift to give my daughters.
Confessions from D
May 4, 2012
Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama blog confessions, motherless, motherless daughters, motherless moms Leave a comment
Before I started this blog I wrote two books for my kids on our cat Harley who died while I was pregnant with our second daughter. When my newest baby was mere months old I began to write about being a mom while missing mine. Off-topics like book reviews and moments with my marriage filled in the blanks. One thing I had not yet delved into was a more personal topic-me. So today, I am going to confess more about me.
- As a tween I loved Bryan Adams. When I first saw him in concert the year after my mom died, I found comfort in his words. I still enjoy seeing him in concert today. My girls know his music. I hope to meet him one day to tell him what his music has done for me.
- As a tween my favorite after school snack was saltines with margarine and ketchup. As an adult I am glad I outgrew that craving. Now it is all about a glass of white wine and a good book. J
- I have kept all of my purses since I was a teenager. My life’s history is shown throughout the styles and where I was at the time in each purse. It is the one big thing I shared in common with my mom. She loved purses. When I need to connect with her I window shop for purses and feel her with me.
- I have never seen a Twilight movie. I tried to read the books and they put me to sleep. Ten pages on Edward’s skin???
- I may be 38 ½ years old and my mom died when I was ten, but I still miss her terribly. I am sad that my daughters never had the chance to have a doting grandma. I know she would have been a cool grandma. She was a cool mom.
That is my confessions for now. Care to share one of yours??? Spill it!
5 things they do not tell you in prenatal classes
May 2, 2012
Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama prenatal, truth about prenatal 1 Comment
I am looking through my girls’ photo books. With every picture I recall snippets of the day each were taken. I see my babies in the various stages of development. I remember the longing for them to grow up so I could understand their needs. The long, long nights of walking with them to lull them to sleep seems ages ago. I read books while I was pregnant to learn what to do. My husband and I attended prenatal classes for our first. All the talks calmed our nerves and filled our brains on what to do. But it really did nothing to prepare us for parenthood. All it did was tell us what contractions were and what to pack for the hospital. It provided nothing about what to do when you bring your baby home. These are 5 things I feel they do not tell you in prenatal classes:
- Spoil yourself with downtime while pregnant. Go on a baby moon with your partner: go to the spa, go to the movies on a weekday and most importantly take time for you. It will change drastically when baby comes and you will barely have time to shower.
- One thing you may hear is ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’ It is the truth! It is harder when you have more kids. When it is just you and babe-sleep! Forget the housework.
- They do not cover in prenatal what happens when breastfeeding does not happen. They go on and on about it, but never give you the materials and resources for when your milk does not come in. Get yourself informed with all options so you know what to do.
- When your family asks what can they do? Tell them! Help in meals, housecleaning and watching the baby so you can nap or shower in peace. It will keep you sane.
- Enjoy every moment. They grow so fast. Each stage is one to cherish.
I do love now that my girls are no longer babies. I never had the urge to have kids until I met my daughters. Now they are 3&5 years old and keep me wanting to see what they will do next. Enjoy!
Motherless Parenting
April 30, 2012
Cancer, cancer sucks, Loss Of My Mom, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama motherless, motherless daughters, motherless mom Leave a comment
When I mention to an acquaintance that my mom died a long time ago, I am met with the pity look. The label gets stamped on my forehead like a marquee. Sometimes the other person asks how I take breaks or go to appointments. I answer, I don’t get breaks and my kids come with me everywhere. It isn’t easy, but it’s our life. I do not have access to free babysitting. As a result, my kids are exposed to a wide variety of life lessons. Parenting motherless leaves open the trials and tribulations of our daily lives.
One thing that I do struggle with, what I think I have to do, is cooking. I never was a great cook before kids and I am even worse now. I am a packaged food mom. I have tried some recipes but have failed. It is just that I would rather be in the playroom and not the kitchen. It is not in me to cook from scratch. I might one day try again to do more cooking. My mom was a crock pot cook before she got sick. We had cookies from a package. We survived.
When it comes to discipline, I know I am lax. I never know when I should ‘parent’ and when I should let something go. Simple parenting lessons that I would ask my mom if she were here. I know I must sweat the small stuff and yet let big stuff slide. My kids must be confused.
When something parenting comes up that I do not have an answer to, I always wonder what would my mom do? I find that to be an enlightening question. Knowing her last few years must have changed a lot on how she parented, I learn to relax and have fun more with my kids. My girls will get into trouble as they grow and test boundaries. Go with the flow, right?
I will continue to make mistakes as we grow together as a family unit. Each kid is different. Yes, it is hard some days when I do not know the right answer. Is there ever a right question?
Random Weekend Reads
April 27, 2012
Book reviews, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms Leave a comment
Absolution by Patrick Flannery
This book signs late on modern South Africa in the dark shadow of apartheid. An acclaimed elderly author searches for a daughter that looked away to fight for her beliefs. Sam Leroux has been commissioned to pen Clare Wald’s biography. Sam wonders if she left her walls of isolation down and be honest with him and yourself about his ghosts.
Patrick weaves the plot while surrounds the characters with ricj scenery. You can almost feel the humidity seeping through the city’s armor.
The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes
The story takes Tony Webster and his boyhood friends meeting Adrian Finn at school. They steer their way through teen angst adolescence together. Adrian was one of the most generous and most intelligent of the group. They all swear they would be friends for life
The plot fast forwards to Tony at retirement after career and a calm divorce. Then a letter arrives that throws a surprise to his quiet retirement and meeting the past. The writing is fast and furious from past to present and back again.
How Not to Move Back in with Your Parents: The Young Person’s Guide to Financial Empowerment by Rob Carrick
The Boomerang Generation has many young people were moving back in with their parents due to rising costs of student loans than fierce job competition. The book doesn’t preach. It does contain examples from young adults featured in case study interviews. Rob walks you through the wealth of information on financial struggles, paying off student loans, establishing a credit rating and many more financial challenges in a case as you get older. The unique angle in the book is that the author addresses the young person as well as offering tips for parents to help their children established strong financial life skills. I would have liked to have this book and have had this book in my early childhood and many tips for all generations
Circle Square Camp giving you a Chance to Win!!!
April 23, 2012
Camping, Mommy minute, moms camp contest, Circle Square Ranch, Pioneer Contest Leave a comment
As a mom of a curious five-year-old finding a camp that is right for her seems daunting on what to choose. Many questions left me confused. When the dust settled in my research I found this contest exciting to participate in, and it helped the journey become fun! If you are a first-timer like us there is a great discount when you register!!! I love the Mabel’s Labels discount too!! You need to make sure to label EVERYTHING!!!
Circle Square Ranches are part of a ministry of the Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship of Canada and are dedicated to meet the needs of children and youth across Canada.
Circle Square Ranch is a non-denominational, non-profit organization that welcomes everyone. As they state on their site- “We encourage young lives to grow spiritually, mentally, socially and physically in an exciting, fun-filled and safe “adventure experience”. “
One thing I wished in my childhood was a chance to get away like my friends did. I did day camps as a kid. I would have loved the opportunity to getaway and make new friends while learning about nature and everything wonderful in a camp environment.
Giving the gift of camp to your kids will have a lasting imprint for the rest of their lives. Enter today for your chance to have a getaway of your own!
http://www.circlesquareranchcontest.com/?purl=296A13
Another great contest:
Reads for Parents on Autism
April 20, 2012
Autism, Book reviews, Marriage, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama autism, Golden Hat Leave a comment
The Out-of- sync Child
recognizing and coping with sensory processing disorder
by Carol Kranowitz, M.A.
Before my youngest daughter was diagnosed last year with autism I was overwhelmed with all of the books offering advice. This book helps break down what you can do for your child who might not be on the spectrum but exhibit sensory overload. What really caught my eye was that all of them approaches that are mentioned in the book are drug-free. This is a book for my reference shelf.
The Golden Hat
Taking Back Autism
By Kate Winslet, Margret Ericsdottir, and Keli Thorsteinsson
| “Thank you for taking this journey with us. We hope this book brings a new awareness of the opportunity we have to help those with autism learn to communicate and realize their ambitions. People with autism have the potential to achieve great things, but only when given the appropriate support and education. This is why the Golden Hat Foundation was formed. All author proceeds from this book go directly to the Golden Hat Foundation. With your help, we can change the world for people with autism.”
The book is made up of Kate and Margret’s stories, their personal email correspondence, and Keli’s poetry. Kate has shared this story with some of the world’s most famous people, posing the question: “What is important to you to express?” Their responses are a collection of self-portraits and their answers to the question All the author proceeds from this book will benefit the Golden Hat Foundation, founded by Kate Winslet and Margret Ericsdottir to build innovative living campuses for people with autism and raise public awareness of their intellectual capabilities.
Stay tuned for my review of Carly’s Voice. A book on autism from the inside! |
