An Open Letter to Customers this holiday

December 19, 2011

@just_d_world Giving Back, moms, Motherless Mama , , 2 Comments

Letter to the Public this Holiday

Dear Customer,

I am standing behind you with my youngest child while you rant to the clerk on why isn’t the hottest toy in stock five days before Christmas. The strain on the clerk’s face makes me want to jump in her defense. Yes, the crowds are crazy busy. Yes, Christmas is soon. Taking your stress out on the clerk is not cool. That clerk probably has been working all day with barely a bathroom break.

My sympathy for her and all clerks is personal. For fifteen years, I clerked in malls everywhere throughout the Christmas season. Many times there were so many customers that I couldn’t take my lunch or a coffee break to pee. It was how it had to be.

Hearing customers rage why we were out of an item days before Christmas made me boil. Christmas comes the same time every year. That is not new. The staffs in the stores are on the front lines. The supply and demand in retail is very tricky. That is up to the corporate headquarters and the buyers. It is not the clerks, whom make (in most cases) minimum wage.

I hug my daughter tight as he leaves in a huff. I take my turn at the counter and pass over my items to purchase. I give the girl a smile and tell her she is doing fine. I remark that she handled herself well with that customer. She thanks me. She tells me it is her first job and feels daunted.

As my purchases are bagged I smile at her and remind her soon, the holiday will be gone. She laughs a tired laugh and agrees. As I leave I grab a comment card and fill it out about the wonderful calmness I witnessed. I do not know if it will make a difference. I remember getting customer accolades after the fact. It motivated me to keep smiling.

So to all customers, please be kind. It isn’t about getting the latest cool toy last minute. It is about spending time with loved ones. There are many who do not get that opportunity.

Be kind. Happy Holidays.

Love,

A former sales clerk and now, a mom.

Grief with Children

February 4, 2011

@just_d_world amotherworld.com, cancer sucks, Giving Back, louslousviews.com contest, Marriage, moms, Motherless Mama , , 2 Comments

As posted this week at amotherworld.com

The tears race down my cheeks uncensored. The shock allows the floodgates to open before I realize my 4 year old is watching me.

I warble out to my husband who is steps away, “He died.” I feel paralyzed in the living room chair.

My husband comes over to me. I am staring at my iPad going through Facebook where the announcement that our friend’s 13 day old newborn had passed the night before. Baby was waiting for a new heart which never came. Being under constant hospital supervision since birth, he never got to go home to where his older siblings were waiting.

My husband holds my hand as we explain to our older daughter why I am sad. Her friend’s youngest brother passed away. I tell her that it is not fair.

“Oh, he went to heaven to see Harley?” she asks. Harley is our cat who passed away when she was fifteen months old. I wrote 2 books about him. The last one was about how he was sick, went to the hospital and passed away. Harley became an angel where he felt better and still watched over us. The books are read frequently in our home.

She looked at his picture on the screen. Never have met, she nods and says okay. I watch her go back to playing her dolls. I try to shelter some feelings from my kids. After dealing with my mom’s illness and subsequent passing, I never had a true childhood. That motivates me to allow them to be innocent and enjoy their rightful time in their young lives. I do believe in being honest with them.

Having my eldest girl appreciate and understand my sadness because of the Harley story validated that I am doing something right as a mom. As my 2 & 4 year old grow up and have their tween dramas, I hope that by allowing myself to show emotion they will be open and free with themselves. Also, to know that I am here for them any time as my mom would have for me had she lived.

I wipe my tears and close the iPad feeling a little less sad by letting myself be open in my feelings. Holding it in does not help. Despite my overwhelming need to go back to bed and stay there all day, I have to take care of my kids. One step and one day at a time is a good place to start.

I am grateful for:

December 20, 2010

@just_d_world Giving Back, Motherless Mama Leave a comment

1. My healthy children. They continue to exhaust me and amaze me in one breath.

2. My long marriage. 18 years and going strong to my best friend.

3. My Kobo. I can travel anywhere through the day. One of my favorite places to read is the car when the kids are napping in their car seats.

4. My writing. Through the long, emotional year, my writing still keeps me grounded.

5. Twitter. Facebook has re-connected me with old friends. Twitter makes new ones. Twitter has been so kind to me through all day and night.

6. Anyone who has donated time and/or money to finding a cure for cancer. You may save my sister.

What are you thankful for this season?

#bekind to Twitter

December 17, 2010

@just_d_world Giving Back, Marriage, moms, Motherless Mama 1 Comment

Rocking my cranky two-year-old in our rocking chair in our dark living room, a glance at my iPhone states the lonely hour of 3 am. I have been up for over an hour and it feels likable that I will not be sleeping anytime soon. The rest of the family is sleeping above my head so turning on the TV is not an option.

Out of the corner of my eye I see my white rectangular friend now sitting on the table next to me.

With an adrenaline jolt I grab my phone and tap on the Twitter app to check updates.

Because of the beauty of the world-wide network I begin conversing with another mom who is having had a bad night. We connect over our love of coffee.

It has been a year since I joined Twitter and it has been a lifeline. The kindness and support I have received alongside the stay at home mom life has been amazing.

I tweet with many kind, all famous and reality superstars. What got me solidly hooked was sitting in the hospital room with my oldest daughter when she was battling pneumonia. Out of bare necessities I played on my phone while she slept. My heart swelled with the virtual friends who checked up on us. People I never met were sending us love through cyberspace.

Since, I have been able to realize a dream to write because of Twitter. I now freelance write from home due to the connections of Twitter. I have even been sent gifts for my girls via @Clippo, @Huggies, @ScholasticCanada.

There have also been the negative nellies who attempt to rain on my parade. Once they realized I did not follow their views, they un-followed me. I couldn’t be happier for it.

Recently, when my sister found out that her cancer was back, the tweets of support helped me vent and enabled to be there for her and my household.

When I read about people raising money to help children (@HeelingHunger @Huggies Diaper drives), it inspired me to pay it forward. Be it a kind word to a tweep, or just saying ‘Hello. How are you?” We routinely purge our house looking for toys, clothes and books to donate. I have offered my time to encourage anyone who needs a pick-me-up, as I have been fortunate enough to receive.

When I hear my non-Twitter friends ask me why I ‘waste time’ on Twitter, I smile. Twitter is like the friend waiting in the wings. It’s there for those who treasure friendships as a two-way street.

Before I know it, the other half of the family is awake ready to start the day. My once foggy brain has cleared.

Thank you Twitter for being you.

#bekind to Twitter and it will be kind to you.

Sometimes Your Kids Do Listen

September 27, 2010

@just_d_world Giving Back, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless Mama 1 Comment

“What are you doing with those books?” my three-year-old daughter asks.

I am kneeling in front of the bookshelf in the corner of my bedroom with a bag of books that I am ready to donate.

“I am all done with these books. It is time to pass them onto other readers.”

She nods with an adult understanding. “Just like the toys when I am ready to give them to another kid.” I smile, then pack my two young daughters up in the car with the bag of books ready to donate at our local library.

I never used to be a giving soul. After a lot of hard knocks in life, I realize now how important for myself to pass on material things when I am all done with them. They are just things to me. They may be a treasure to someone who cannot afford a new book.

As a book reviewer, I do get sent a lot of free books. My shelves in my corner of the house can only hold so much.  All that matters to me is the sentimental things from my loved ones that have moved on. You can’t take it with you.

We step into the cool library and wait our turn in line. My toddler squeals in delight at the toys and books in the children’s section. I place the bag down on the floor to go get my tot who just ran out of my sight. I scoop her up and return to the line.

I find the bag is gone off the floor because my three-year-old has lugged it up to the counter. She stands proud as I overhear her explain how we are all done with these books. It is time for a new family to read them.

The librarian looks down at her.

“Thank you so much for helping us.”  She says with a wink to me.

“You are welcome. I am happy to share. We borrow so much from the library so we need to give back,” my older daughter explains.

My heart sticks in my throat. There are so many days when I do not think she hears me. As I see this moment,  it gives my strength as a mom. She learns by what sees as examples and in turn I learn to keep doing what I am doing as a mom.

BlogHer ’10 contest

March 2, 2010

@just_d_world Giving Back, Mabel’s Labels BlogHer ‘10 Contest, Mabels Labels BlogHer contest, Mommy minute, moms, Pay It forward, Staying with your child in hospital, Yummy Mummy Club Leave a comment

An electrical storm is about to knock out the internet perhaps forever tomorrow. I do not know how I will survive without my support group especially through Twitter. When I was spending sleepless nights with my 3 year old- Twitter was there.

No internet will mean I need to explore my neighborhood more. Look at a mom in the eye and say hello. Make new friends at the park.

No internet will mean that I will invest in stamps and pretty notepaper.

I could go on and on how sad it will be. I will miss the friends I have made and probably will not have met otherwise from all over the world.

Thank you for the memories and here is to making new ones.

 http://www.blogcontest.mabel.ca/

Pay It Forward, Giving Back

January 14, 2010

@just_d_world Giving Back, moms, Pay It forward 6 Comments

After the devastation in Haiti the world has come together to help our fellow humans and animals. We give every year to various charities with what ‘spare change’ we have. However, how can we do more?

I am third car in line at Starbucks desperate for a coffee fix. My one –year- old was up very early again this morning. We are on our way to take my three-year-old to a school function. I try to curb my spending but this is serious caffeine time.

Ever since my sister has been cancer free, I donate my time and money to help find a cure for breast cancer. Unless I could drop everything and jump on a plane to help bring food and water to survivors, money is all I can donate. It makes me feel helpless. No one deserves what this disaster has caused.

I pull up to the window with my five dollars in hand to pass to the girl holding my coffee. When I hold out the bill to her after taking my coffee, she shakes her head. She tells me the car ahead paid for my coffee. I asked her who it was. She shrugged and said he just wanted to help a mom.

I give her my five and tell her to put it on the next customer behind me (which was a packed mini van full of kids).

Okay. We may be able to help everyone in the world but we can help our fellow neighbor smile just like my Good Coffee Samaritan did. I dare you reading this to pay it forward and give back today.

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